Temper tantrums are one of the most upsetting emotional behaviours. They can leave a parent feeling out of control, embarrassed and angry, but they are often even harder on the child. There are two different types of temper tantrums, and parents can respond in a different way to each one.
1) Temper tantrums can communicate a child's frustration. A young child may be unable to express his feelings in words or unable to do a task that he wants to do. His sense of failure and rage explodes into a tantrum. It is best to let the child cry out his tantrum in this case. His battle is with him-self and his own in-abilities. When the tantrum is over, hold him and comfort him. "It's hard to want to do something so much and you can't. But someday you'll be able to do it"
2) Temper tantrums can also be used a weapons against parents. A child may throw a temper tantrum to gain power or to get even with a parent when she is denied something. It is best to ignore this kind of behaviour, attempting to comfort or talk to the child may be reinforcing her actions. It is always good to tell the child that they may come for a hug when they are done along with a statement such as "you were feeling really angry"
Sometimes choices are a good way to stop the child from gaining power. For example, Brenda does not want to go to bed at her bed time and is throwing a tantrum, her parents may say to her "you may walk to your bed your self or I will carry you to bed, it's your choice". In this case Brenda is still going to bed at her designated time, even if she is having a tantrum.
